stream of consciousness

I tried to make cinnamon cookies last night. Tried being the operative word. Unfortunately, I confused baking power for baking SODA and the cookies were inedible. Like literally, David spit one out of his mouth after sampling one. Haha, so much for trying to be all domestic.

************************************************************************************
I'm back into watching American Idol, it's just too entertaining to be missed. And I'm not necessarily referring to the contestants being entertaining, although some of them definitely have serious talent (I think Melinda is my fave so far). The entertainment for me comes from watching Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell have a verbal catfight every week, as well as watching whatever crazy antics Paula Abdul pulls. I guess it just proves the inevitable point that a crazy freak show makes for good TV.


************************************************************************************

I love Pandora.com. I've been using this streaming radio site to create a customized station that has become like my own personal DJ during my work day. Where else would I be able to listen to Frank Sinatra, Regina Spektor, The Temptations, Keith Urban, and Jimmy Eat World all on one station? I must say, hearing my favorite compliation of artists and songs flow through my computer speakers keeps me sane during those slow afternoons in Walker Hall.


************************************************************************************

I watched "The Last Kiss" last night while David was at a Kings game. It wasn't as terrible as several people told me it was going to be, but it was certainly a more jaded look at relationships than most Hollywood films. It left me wondering how many people in their 20's in American society go into a marriage with the firm belief that it's actually going to last for a lifetime. I think more and more couples have the "hope" that it's going to work out, but not the solid conviction that their marriage will truly be able to weather all of life's ups and downs. Which makes me realize that I must sound incredibly naive to people when I say that I know I will be with David for the rest of my days. As Zach Braff's character says in the movie, "A wedding is just...so...final." Oh, really?

**********************************************************************************

I'm hungry, off to enjoy my leftover Pluto's sandwich!

i'm so excited, i just can't hide it

Guess where I'll be May 24th? In San Francisco seeing Harry in concert!! It's been FIVE YEARS since I've seen him live. He's a brilliant performer....I can't wait!

This won't do him justice, but watch anyway:

all we are is dust in the wind

It was a good weekend because it really provided a nice escape from the stress of the last week. PF Chang's and Rick's Dessert Diner on Friday with David made for an excellent date night, something we haven't had in a while. Saturday we slept in, did some house cleaning, ran some errands, and watched "The Departed". Sunday was church, then lunch with some other people from Threshold at Guadalajara's and then hanging out with Krystle at Borders for over two hours. Oh, and did I mention that the weekend temperature high was around 80 degrees? I gleefully wore my flip-flops after several months of them hiding in the back of the closet.

Needless to say, it was one of those weekends that made me feel content with the world. A husband I love, fellowship with friends, yummy food, sunshine---yeah, life is good.

Then I got to work this morning, and learned that someone in our department passed away over the weekend. His death was completely unexpected--he was a seemingly healthy, 47 year old man. He was admitted to the hospital a week ago, was diagnosed with Autoimmune hemolytic anemia on Wednesday, and on Friday night he died. Whoa.

Now I didn't know him very well because he worked in a program in our department that is actually in a building off campus, so it wasn't as much an emotional blow (as I know it was to the people who actually worked with him) as it was just the shock of how sudden the death was. I know people die suddenly every day in car accidents, terrorist bombings, etc. but it is still just hard for me to comprehend the abrupt nature of death sometimes. Like with this situation, one week, you're perfectly healthy, the next week you're a victim of a fatal disorder. I need more time to process things and have closure, and this kind of sudden death doesn't allow for that.

So with this news, I view my weekend with a truly grateful heart at the life I live and just pray that I can continue to have this attitude towards my life until the day it ends.

A little pearl of wisdom

This made me laugh. I love Dwight Schrute.

got my popcorn and junior mints

Since television has really been my media of choice over the last year (it's hard to keep up being addicted to 5 shows!), I've been on a sort of an unintentional movie fast. Well, I broke that fast over the last few weeks and went on a movie binge--I watched three movies and the entire broadcast of the Academy Awards just last week alone. Here are some thoughts:

Half-Nelson
A small, independent film that got some main-stream recongition with Ryan Gosling's nomination for a Best Actor Oscar. The premise sounds cliche---a young teacher in a ghetto New York neighborhood trying to make a difference---except for one little detail: the teacher is hopelessly addicted to crack. Gosling's performance is brilliant in the way that he really causes the audience to experience two extremes of emotion: you feel genuinely frustrated with his character's apathetic attitude towards his addiction yet you sympathize with the possibly of why he became addicted in the first place. Shareeka Epps stars as the student who discovers her teacher's secret and they form an unlikley bond that grows throughout the rest of the movie. However, not all problems are solved at the end of the movie, only the glimmer of hope that change might occur. Overall, I would give it a 3.5 out of 5 for the performances of Gosling and Epps and for the original plot.

Flags of our Fathers
I never really enjoyed Clint Eastwood as an actor, but I definitely appreciate him as a director. Eastwood brings to life the story behind the six men who raised the American flag at the Battle of Iwo Jima, only three of which actually left Iwo Jima alive. This moment holds a place in Amercian history forever due to the famous photograph that caught the six men putting up the flag. It's a war movie in the sense that it has several long scenes, similar to Saving Private Ryan, of actual battle. But I would not just limit it to the war genre. It's an engaging look at the personal drama that each of the men who were part of the photograph went through as they are all caught in the paradox of being publicly hailed as heros when they truly believe that this title is undeserved. I give it a 4 out of 5.

Babel
I know people who loved this movie and people who considered it a waste of two hours they will never get back. I fall in between these two extremes, but I will say that I am glad I saw it. As cheesy as it sounds, I felt that watching this film with three interwoven stories allowed me to take a (short) global journey between the primitive deserts of Morrocco, the hectic urban frenzy of Toyko, and the boisterous energy of a wedding in Mexico. I wouldn't say that this is a profound movie, but rather a subtle reflection on the good and the bad of human nature. There are no grand statements made here, leading some to feel that as a whole the movie was pointless. However, I appreciated that there was no message being shoved down the audience's throat, which allowed the meaning of the film to be interpreted in a unique way by each individual viewer. If you're in a contemplative mood, I'd recommend it. 3.5 out of 5.

Academy Awards
Highlights for me: the song by Will Ferrell and Jack Black, Martin Scorcese finally winning an Academy Award, and the sound effects choir

What movies are next on my list? Zodiac, Stranger than Fiction, and The Departed

a musical, a Superman suicide, and some stretchy pants

I saw three movies over the weekend. Here's my two cents:

"Dreamgirls"- (4 out of 5 stars) This movie is definitely very entertaining and very visually appealing. However, I was surprised that the music in the movie wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be. There were several overly sugary ballads that I thought dragged on for too long, but there were also several fun upbeat numbers so it all balanced out. I thought the movie was cast well--Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, and Eddie Murphy all fit their roles perfectly. However, I do NOT think that Murphy deserved a supporting actor nomination---although he played his role well, I didn't really feel like he was stretching himself that much. Overall, this is another great musical made into a movie and I'll even consider buying it when it comes out on DVD.

"Hollywoodland"- (3 out of 5 stars) Ben Affleck stars as George Reeves, the actor who first played Superman on TV in the 1950's and ended up committing suicide. The main plot concerns a private investigator (Adrien Brody) trying to discern whether Reeves' suicide was actually a murder. The film trys too hard to be like "L.A. Confidential", but never quite achieves that kind of greatness. It is an interesting story though and Affleck does a good job at capturing the disdain George Reeves felt towards his Superman role, which he felt prevented him from being taken seriously as an actor. This is definitely not an uplifting movie, but rather a gritty character study.

"Nacho Libre" - (2 out of 5 stars) This movie gets only two stars because there are only two main reasons to watch it: if you're a die-hard Jack Black fan or a die-hard Napoleon Dynamite fan (it was directed by Jared Hess, who also directed 'Napoleon'). I wasn't expecting this movie to be profound on any level, but I WAS expecting it to be funny. The quirky and ridiculous humor that worked in some magical way in "Napoleon" did not really work for this movie---instead, many of the supposedly funny parts were just embarrassingly pointless (why did there need to be a scene with Black's character rubbing poo in someone's face?). I will say though, that this movie did have a cute and uplifting theme, so you didn't feel like the plot was a total waste.


In other movie news, I'm excited to rent 'Half Nelson' and 'The Departed', they just came out on DVD today!

reflections

In the last week, I've learned the hard lesson of letting go of an expectation, and replacing it with the peace of knowing friendships don't need formalities or titles to mean something really special. Although this was a tough lesson, I think ultimately it provided an opportunity for God to teach me how to swallow my pride and replace it with understanding and support for a friend who really needs it.

In the last week, I've learned how fun it is to rediscover old songs on my piano. I found the sheet music to Mozart's Turkish March last Saturday, and it's weird how my fingers quickly remembered the notes of a song I haven't played since high school. I definitely love the challenge of tackling an old classical piece.

In the last week, I've learned how neat it is to know that I will soon be an official member of a church. David and I finished the last part of a new member series offered by UCC, and I really enjoyed hearing the background of the Covenant church in general, as well as the history of UCC in particular. I think making a commitment to a church is important, and I feel this was an important step for David and I to take.

I look forward to seeing what I learn in the coming week (month, quarter, year)....

here's to the nights we felt alive

Friendships are so key in this life. Even Jesus, the human version of GOD, needed fellowship and found it within his twelve disciples. Friends make live worth living instead of just getting through. And sometimes you have those experiences where you just stop and realize how precious true friendship is.

This weekend was one of those experiences for me. On Saturday night, one of my dearest friends, Rachel, got engaged. Her fiance had the fantastic idea to organize all of her closest friends to be at his apartment to surprise her with an engagement party directly after the proposal. Looking around the room, it was amazing to see a group of us that first met each other in a bible study during freshmen year and I felt so blessed that we've all stayed friends throughout the years and have been able to see each other get engaged, get married, find jobs, and become 'grown-ups'.

The weekend continued...Sunday was the ADX Alumni get-together in San Francisco and sixteen alum were there! Someone mentioned, "wow--we all look so much older" and again it just caused me to wax nostalgic about first meeting these girls as a little freshman in college, unsure and skeptical about joining a sorority. I would never have guessed that so many of them would become lifelong friends. And again, I thanked God for the gift of friendship. And I know I can never thank Him enough.

A musical onion

Some of the most powerful music I've heard is when it is in it's most basic form: one person, one instrument. There's something about hearing a song stripped of everything except the most basic elements, where I feel like it's being played just for me. Well, last night after doing some web browsing, I came across a video of Imogen Heap performing one of her songs in a most unique way--using only her voice and some clapping, she created layer upon layer of the song as she went. I'd label it 'techno- acapella'. I was amazed at the simplicity and complexity of the song all at once. Instead of me rambling on, watch for yourself:

Bauer power

The new season of '24' has arrived, the wait is finally over....

burn out bright

Christmas has come and gone. So has New Year's Eve. So has our 4-day cruise. So has my two weeks of glorious vacation time.

Usually, after big events like these pass, I experience a "post-event" melancholy where I become sad and disappointed that it's over. I've found that this is rather useless, because then I tend to miss the full joy that the event brought in the first place.

However, it seems that for once I am actually content with all of the holidays and vacation coming to an end. I enjoyed every moment with family and friends over the last few weeks, but I must admit that I am relieved in a way to be done with all the hurry and flurry and look forward to getting back into the normal flow of things.

As for New Year's resolutions, I don't have a long list this year. Of course, I could definitely come up with a long list as I've done in the past, but I've realized that perhaps it would be more effective to have one main goal for myself that could apply to several areas of my life. In the last few days I've pondered what I really want to accomplish this year and the answer came to me in the lyrics of a new song off of the new Switchfoot album:

if we've only got one try
if we've only got one life
if time was never on our side
before i die i want to burn out bright




In essence, I want to start living more purposefully. I feel that I have been stagnent in my spiritual walk for too long and I'd like to take steps to change that---studying the Bible and praying consistently would be a good place to start. I want to take action in serving others and seek out opportunities where I can do so, instead of just sitting around and thinking about it. I want to be purposeful in my friendships, in figuring out what I want my next career move to be, and in constantly pursuing a stronger marriage. I don't want to get stuck in the mud of complacency, I want to be able to say that in 2007, I moved forward.

All the riches of the kings end up in wills

So Christmas has always been a huge deal for me in every way, shape, and form. I love everything about the holiday. There's the obvious joy as a Christian in celebrating the birth of Jesus and pondering the infinite mystery of God becoming man. Then there are the little things about this time of year that also bring joy to my heart: seeing all the decorations at the malls, baking and decorating gingerbread men, my Dad's once-a-year Christmas breakfast casserole, iceskating, and scouting out which houses have the best light display are among the few.

I must admit though, however shallow it sounds, that a large part (if not the main part) of Christmas for me throughout most of my life has been about presents. My younger brother and I had a tradition of coming down the stairs with our eyes closed, in order to maximize the surprise of Santa's gifts that awaited us under our mantel. And I'll be honest, I didn't stop wondering what Santa was going to bring me each year until I was in sixth grade. Yes, that's right, I believed in Santa until I was 12 years old (laugh it up!). But even after the reality of Santa was exposed, I still eagerly anticipated what I would receive each year under our mantel.

It wasn't until my senior year in high school that pangs of guilt for my materialism started to happen. I don't really remember what the catalyst was, but it was at this point that I realized that my expectation of gifts was at times outweighing the true meaning of the holiday. I realized that if I didn't get what I thought I needed, I would be disappointed. Shameful to admit, but true.

Several years later, I feel that I have gotten better fighting the always present battle of materialism and über-consumerism during the Christmas season. I have found that truly the best gift of all is just spending time with family and friends during the holidays. However, the monster of greed does still rear its ugly head, showing me all the cute sweaters or DVD box sets or other things I "need".

And now I come to why I even decided to write about this subject in the first place. I was faced with an interesting question last week when I heard of the website Buy Nothing Christmas from a friend. The basic concept of the site is to rebel against our consumer society and spend nothing on Christmas gifts in order to direct ourselves to a larger, spiritual perspective. My immediate thought was "I can't do that! I like buying gifts and I like getting gifts!" And then I started thinking about why.....why is it so hard for me to break free from this feeling of wanting to have more when I already have enough? Why can't I just comprehend the simple words of Jesus:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Unfortuantely, this post doesn't have a neat little ending, but rather an open-ended one, because it is still something I am wrestling with. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts......

Give thanks

Pastor Jaime gave a sermon on 'giving thanks' this morning at church, and though it was nothing profound, his words were a reminder that we are to never cease in counting our blessings. I thought I'd put this concept into action, because I realize that more often than not, I am always thinking about what I want instead of rejoicing in what I have. Here is a list of things I'm grateful for (in no particular order):

-David
-the opportunity to go to college
-the women in my life who I can be truly vulnerable with
-our house
-access to any book I want to read
-full use of all of my body parts
-always having clean water to drink
-Yahoo Music Jukebox
-a family I can be honest with
-the chance to go on a cruise with my best friends
-the freedom to practice Christianity without fear of my government hurting me
-all the unique memories of Alpha Delta Chi
-my piano
-online chat friends that make 8 hour work days go by MUCH faster
- security in knowing that God created me for a purpose

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, rejoice!"
-Philippians 4:4

face/off

http://www.myheritage.com

This is what you call procrastinating at work.

it doesn't cost a thing to laugh

"So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun..."

~"Stop this Train", John Mayer

This weekend was non-stop action, so I'm taking some time to debrief at work by listening to Mr. Mayer, which always seems to calm me down.

I turned 23 on Sunday. It's kind of an anti-climactic age, but I had fun celebrating it none the less.

So the India.Arie concert was Friday and she is absolutely amazing in person. I know I seem to write this about every musician I see in concert, but what can I say, I just must have superb taste in artists that can knock your socks off when they perform live! Anyway, she played for over two hours and the most surprising thing to me was that after her second or third song, she prayed over the show and asked that God would use her lyrics to emotionally help people who were going through a hard relationship, just like she did a few years ago. When she sang "Wings of Forgiveness" (my fave song on her new CD), I teared up because you can tell she really does believe what she's singing. Sidenote: The Fillmore is a fantastic venue, if you have a chance to see a show there, DO IT!

Our Halloween bash was Saturday night and it was great to have such a random mix of friends there. And the winner for best costume? That honor goes to Brad Steiner and Kristen Jones for embodying (literally) "Fiddler on the Roof". Other costumes included Johnny Cash and June Carter, Arthur Dent from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Captain Jack Sparrow, Robin Hood and his fair maiden, James Bond and his mistress, a Dodgers fan, a Sac-town thug, and Sydney Bristow from ALIAS! A full roster indeed.

Yesterday was our big family housewarming party and that was a lot of fun as well. We got to show off our place to various cousins, aunts and uncles, both of our grandmas, and the rest of our family. It really was a huge blessing to have so many people from both sides of our families there to celebrate with us.

Another dynamite weekend....all I can say is "L'Chaim!"

Our families celebrate our new home with us

Hello, old chum

Here's what I bought today:













Time to become reacquainted with an old friend. It's been far too long.

these are a few of my favorite things

1. Product (RED).
This is an amazing idea: getting a bunch of big corporations (GAP, Motorla, Armani, American Express, Apple) to create "RED" products and donate HALF of the profits of these products to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS in Africa. Bono, you are brilliant....taking advantage of Amercian consumerism and spinning it into good! I proudly bought my Product (RED) shirt yesterday from GAP and I love the fact that all the shirts were produced in Africa, which also creates the added bonus of increasing economic development in the country.

2. A fun haircut.
I've been wanting to get a haircut for some time--I haven't had one since May. However, I wanted to make sure I could find someone who would share the same glorious vision I had for what style I wanted. Megan recommended her stylist, Dawn, to me and she was awesome! She gave me exactly what I wanted and she only charged $30. I think I've just permanently upgraded from my usual trim at Great Clips.

3. Surprises from my hubby.
So David and I were talking about doing something on Friday to celebrate my b-day and then he gives me this weird look and starts mumbling about how he has something to tell me. This was kinda freaking me out a little, and then after 10 minutes, he says "look under your pillow". Well by golly, there were two concert tickets to the India Arie show on Friday at the Fillmore!! He told me how he had bought the tickets for Amy and I to go, since he knew I'd have more fun at the concert with her since we are both huge India fans. How cute is that?!?! I love how he totally surprised me, and now I get to go to see one of my favorite artists in my favorite city!

My (RED) shirt, my new haircut, and my hubby = happy Kelli

Running to catch up again

I haven't had this busy of a week in a while. For the majority of the nights the last seven days, I've stayed up past midnight---which wouldn't be that big a deal if I didn't have to do the whole 'work' thing. Blast you, alarm clock and your tortuous beeping! However, the loss of sleep was well worth it. And here's why:

Monday- ADX Rush Tea => it felt so good to be back at DCCC with fellow alum Rach, Bron, Megan, and Jodie. And I want to give a big shout out to Mrs. Jackie Caro's amazing coffee cake...yum!

Tuesday- Trivia Night @ Sophia's => Who thought that spending two hours answering 40 trivia questions ranging from reality shows to Greek mythology would be thoroughly enjoyable? It was a DHS reunion of sorts: myself, Amy, Susan, and then two guys who I literally haven't seen since high school. I'm definitely looking forward to more Tuesday Trivia nights and who knows, one of these times maybe we'll even get above 10th place!

Wednesday- ADX Pref. Dinner => all I can say is that I chose a great year to be co-advisor because the group welcomed 8 awesome pledges. I also got to know several of the newer girls who pledged last year through random conversations over dinner....I can't wait to get to know everyone better!

Thursday- Steve drove down from Chico for (what else?) a concert and stopped by to see our house. He told me about how he's going to go to this film festival in SoCal in a few weeks and wanted my opinion on what seminars to take. Man, am I jealous. Oh yeah, and David's dad drove up to help David with the patio. He thought he was just going to stay the day and leave around 6, but let's just say the project took a little longer than expected....

Friday- David and his dad spent another full day working on the patio and it makes me exhausted just thinking of how exhausted they were after they finally finished. Exactly an hour after they stopped working, we were in the Woodland Opera house with our bible study peeps watching the community production of Fiddler on the Roof. Besides the uncomfortable seats, I was very impressed with the cast's performance and it quenched my thirst for some showtunes.
Saturday- had a mini-housewarming party with my parents and my Aunt Becky and Uncle Chuck from Huntington Beach. I felt so proud to show them our house now that some of the rooms are painted and we finally got a second couch that really makes the living room look all grown up. It was a fun evening.

Well just recounting the week's events makes me realize the blessing of being surrounded by incredible friends and family! But I'm tired. I miss my bed and the fun times we used to have. So it's time to go catch up and prepare for the upcoming week---at the end of which I"ll turn 23!

what happened to big petticoats and fancy gloves?

I wanted to look nice today. Which for me, meant wearing a knee-length brown skirt, and a cute pink tweed blazer with some champagne color 1-inch heels. I found it comical that throughout my entire day at the office, I was asked repeatedly "What's the special occasion?", as if looking respectable at work indicated that there must be some huge celebration occurring somewhere. I even got asked by one of my supervisors, "Did you have an interview somewhere else today? Because if you did, you can always tell me." And she wasn't saying this in a joking sense, she was seriously worried that because I wore a skirt and heels to work, I must be interviewing elsewhere. I guess this is indicative of UCD work culture, its completely normal to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to work (unless you work with the big-wigs in the dean's office). And this is just dandy, I love the fact that I didn't have to go out and buy hundreds of dollars of work clothes because I can still wear the clothes I wore during college to work. But every once in a while, a girl just wants to get all dolled up....is that cause for alarm? Sheesh!

P.S.- The fall mix for 2006 is completed. Just throw a blank CD at me and I'll burn it for you!

just keep me where the light is

----This is a post I started on Sunday, but didn't finish until now----

Went and saw Mr. Mayer on Saturday. He was co-headlining with Sheryl Crow, but I definitely thought he would be playing last. Sadly, Aubrey and I were dismayed when John came out before Sheryl, which we were almost certain would mean we would get no encore performance from him (which is the best part!!). Unfortunately, we were right, but he still played a decent length set and was worth every penny.
I have a particularly unique bond with John’s music because I feel like as I’ve matured and made the slow transition into adulthood, his music has simultaneously done the same. I first saw him at the Greek in Berkeley back in August 2002, just as his catchy pop single “No Such Thing” was becoming big. Heavier Things came out in September 2003 and showed a more introspective and musically diverse side of John. Last year, a huge change in John’s musical repertoire was concurrent with a huge change in my life---getting married. The John Mayer Trio album was released in November 2005, and it definitely didn’t sound anything like the same guy who did Room for Squares. Anyone who has read articles on John knows that his passion is the blues. The album with his trio clearly exhibits this, and it sounds like he has found his home in a musical sense.
Then comes Continuum. For me, it’s been an acquired taste. However, this isn’t a bad thing—it demonstrates that John Mayer challenges himself to grow musically and the end result is truly rewarding. This is the most stripped down of his records, and this allows him to really bare his soul, talking honestly about the reasons for our generation’s apathy (Waiting on the World to Change), his fear of aging (Stop this Train), and the brokenness experienced in past relationships (Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, In Repair, I Don’t Trust Myself). Now it’s in my cd player non-stop and I enjoy soaking it in, one track at a time. And I realize as I listen that this is why I praise God for music, it’s ability to help me process life and all of its changes. And I look forward to what stage of life I'll be in when the next Mayer album is released.