destination

Can't wait to be here in 39 days:







And here in 43 days:

My musical sanity

There's a mix on my iPOD that I listen to specifically on my commute back from my night classes at Sac State, which can be pretty intense. I need music to "debrief" to while I ponder what I just experienced, learned, etc. and I've found that these albums help me to slow down and find some sanity amidst the frantic pace of life I tend to have right now.

The Outsiders- Needtobreathe (appropriate band name for how I sometimes feel)

The Glass Passenger- Jack's Mannequin (my love for Andrew McMahon's musical talent was revived when I saw him in concert last month....his music and lyrics resonate with me)

Better Days- Robbie Seay Band (a calming album that puts things in perspective)


Everybody- Ingrid Michaelson (many songs on this album are uplifting after a long day)


Time Without Consequence- Alexi Murdoch (perfect night driving soundtrack)


Nothing is Sound- Switchfoot (haven't listened to this album in several years but have rediscovered that many of the songs speak directly to the issues discussed in my counseling classes)

Embracing our strengths

Question: If your teenager comes home with their report card and gets an A in English, an A in History, and a D in Chemistry, what grade would be discussed the most?

This scenario, typical for many teenagers, was discussed at a Strengths Finder half-day seminar I attended at my church a few weekends ago. Most people answered that they would discuss the "D" grade the most, since this is obviously an area where their child has the most room for improvement. Or is it?

For those of you that haven't heard of Strengths Finder, I strongly suggest to buy the book on Amazon or at a local bookstore and complete the test. During the seminar, the speaker discussed the concept of shifting from a weakness-based to a strengths-based paradigm. This means understanding that no matter how hard we try, we will always be weak in certain areas and instead we should focus on developing the natural talents and skills that we have to achieve fulfillment in whatever we have been called to do. He also talked about how this doesn't mean we should avoid our weaknesses but that our society tends to have an obsession with thinking that we can "fix" our weaknesses and lose mental energy by doing this instead of spending this energy embracing and leveraging our strengths in any career or leadership position.

As a future career counselor, I was really inspired in how to apply this kind of thinking with future clients and also with the students I advise currently at UCD. If you do buy the book and take the Strengths Finder test, I'd be interested to know what your top five themes are. Mine happen to be:

Connectedness
Input
Communication
Maximizer
Strategic

Heartbroken for Haiti

It's been a tender-hearted kind of week for me. I cried at church on Sunday. There are horrible things that happen every day, but the situation in Haiti has been too big of a crisis to ignore, yet also too much to comprehend as well. The last natural disaster crisis to invoke so much emotion within me was Katrina. And after having spent a week in New Orleans last summer and seeing the devastation that still is a reality four years after the hurricane, I am overwhelmed with despair at how Haiti, the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere, will come back from this. I read "Mountains Beyond Mountains" (highly recommended) last year and this gave me the first glimpse of the history influencing the many factors behind why Haiti is a chaotic nation in many regards-- a destitute economy, lacking basic infrastructure, many people not having access to basic health care and education, and a notoriously corrupt political system. And this was the state of things in Haiti BEFORE the earthquake hit. I've heard some say that maybe the earthquake will be the catalyst needed to rebuild Haiti in a way that creates opportunity for a more stable government and economy. Others remark that a positive effect of this horrible tragedy could be to shed light and raise awareness of the extreme poverty that existed on this island. In a sense, I agree that we cannot remain ignorant of how it was actually the poverty in Haiti, not the earthquake itself, that caused so many of the deaths. I read an article comparing the San Francisco earthquake of 1989 to the Haiti earthquake--both quakes had similar magnitude and affected around the same number of people. However, 67 people died in the SF quake and the death count in Haiti is surpassing 200,000. THAT is the real tragedy--the unjust gap that exists between "developed" and "third-world" countries in terms of infrastructure, etc. Why does this gap exist? That's a much deeper question but it's a good one to ponder.

Another question that came to my mind multiple times this week was "how can people just go about their normal lives after they watch the news and see what's going on in Haiti?!" I see people at the gym reading the latest celebrity trash tabloid magazines while CNN broadcasts another heartbreaking story about Haiti in the background. I have bitter thoughts towards these people---"how can you be so insensitive to the suffering occurring?"And then I found myself doing the same thing as everyone else, trying to set aside all the horrific images of dead bodies, despondent mothers who have lost all their children, and crumbled buildings in order to continue with the regular activities of my day. I am torn between feeling terribly guilty and feeling that I can't dwell in what is happening thousands of miles away.

Right now, I know I can contribute financially to the relief effort and find some hope in praying for Haiti. But I must admit, right now it's hard to shake a feeling of despair. God, help show me that You are bigger than the despair that is enveloping so many in this tragedy.

shalom in the new year

The last part of 2009 was the busiest both David and I had been since we graduated from college. Hence, why I hardly blogged over the last three months--grad school had taken over most of my free time. I'm thoroughly enjoying the break I have until classes start up again the last week of January. During this break, I have had some time to process the introductory semester of my graduate program. There were many frustrations and many exciting educational epiphanies---at times I was learning new philosophies that would equip me to see the world in a new way and in other moments I found myself wondering if I had learned anything at all from

that night's class. I found that I had to adjust my expectations of what my program would be like. There is a lot of focus on learning through discussion and not necessarily from the professor lecturing on the material, which is completely different than my undergrad experience. However, I find that this kind of interactive learning style has caused the textbooks I read and the concepts I'm learning to resonate with me more. I could write a very long post on the new perspectives I have gained from just one of the textbooks that I read called "Privilege, Power, and Difference" by Allan Johnson but instead I will say that it is a must read for anyone who wants to know how to examine and challenge the systems of privilege that exist between themselves and others who are different from them....so basically this includes everyone. Anyhow, I look forward to what my spring classes bring although I will admit that it will be hard to break away from being able to fill my free time with books (of my choosing), movies, and TV.

Speaking of how I spend my time, I have been convicted in various ways about how important it is to spend time on things that MATTER versus things that just waste away the minutes. First, I received an email in which the coordinator of a post-college church group talks about how distractions have taken a toll in her relationship with God and how she cannot find time to pray or read Scripture and yet finds plenty of time each day to browse around on Facebook. Hmmm....sounds familiar.

Secondly, I am reading Don Miller's new book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and he draws parallels between how living a life with purpose and meaning is similar to writing a good story. He goes on to say how "the world needs for us to write something better" in the story of our lives. He suggests that when we live a story, we are telling the people around us what we think is important and that most of us have settled for a story of just existing versus actually living.

Lastly, I heard a sermon this morning while visiting the church my brother attends in Santa Cruz. The pastor, Dan Kimball, began a new sermon series on "Shalom" and how to holistically live a life of peace and balance that Jesus offers us. He explained the view that while we tend to put spirituality as one of the many categories in our lives, that actually ALL aspects of our lives are spiritual and relate to our faith including career, relationships, finances, health, and how we spend our time. Therefore, this means that as much as possible, we need to try to find balance in all of these areas to fully experience the wholeness, peace, and harmony that is referred to as the "shalom" in the Bible. We will all need to work on finding balance in some areas more than others and after the sermon I found myself reflecting on the two main areas I'd like to "rebalance" in 2010: time management and health. I need to realize that most of the time, there truly are enough hours in the day to do what I need to do without staying up past midnight thus creating a cycle where I wake up exhausted and am perpetually late for everything. I may not do everything I want to do in a day (watch a movie, browse FaceBook, read random blogs) but in the 16-17 hours I'm awake, I can get the important stuff done (work, school, building friendships, building my marriage) and the other frivolous ways to spend time should not be a priority because while they are not bad, they don't actually help me experience the "shalom" that God gives freely if I am open to receiving it.

I hope to be mindful of this philosophy in 2010, especially because once I begin spring semester in a few weeks, I will need to live out this philosophy to stay sane. So to put words into action, I will end this blog post in order to go to bed to rest before a new day begins.

Final thought: this year is a blank page, what story will we tell in it?

ocean eyes

(meant to be posted 6 weeks ago but has stayed at "draft" status until now...whoops!)

This weekend was spent with several couples from our bible study in a beautiful vacation home in Bodega Bay. Normally, this house rents for $1000 per weekend but we were all able to stay there for free because one of the couples, Andrea and Casey, are friends with the family that owns the house and they were given a free weekend. They graciously invited the rest of us along for a retreat that felt like we were staying in a resort complete with an gorgeous ocean view, multiple fireplaces and flat screen TVS, and a hot tub! It was so nice to spend a weekend away from the stress of school, work, etc. and be able to spend some quality time with friends enjoying a multitude of food, Rock Band, and the serenity of the ocean.

spotlight is on

MuteMath at the Fillmore

This is just a tad late (by about six weeks) but I still think it is deserving of a post. Back in October, I went to see MuteMath for the second time with my brother. However, the location and venue were a thousand times better than when I first saw them a few years ago in Roseville, CA at a small concert space attached to a church. The crowd at the Roseville show was so rude, immature (mainly young emo teenage wannabes), and you could tell that it affected the the mood of the band. There wasn't much energy in the crowd so I think the MuteMath guys had a hard time giving a truly passionate performance.
This experience was completely different and I'm so glad I got to see MuteMath really in their element. They played at the Fillmore in San Francisco, one of my absolute favorite concert venues. I will admit that going into the concert with my spry younger brother, I was a little weary of standing for 3+ hours (we arrived at 7:30, the show didn't start until 9 and didn't end until 11:30) and yes, this is a sign that I'm getting old and decrepit. But any aching in my feet was well worth it for a fantastic show that really made me forget about standing for so long. They are one of the most energetic and interactive bands you will ever see live and very physical in their performance---jumping, throwing themselves into the crowd, leaping off a piano and standing on drums. However, it never comes across as over the top but rather is delivered in a way that genuinely demonstrates their fervor for music and their excitement for playing it live. I hope to see many more MuteMath shows in my lifetime!

where the road meets the sun

Last Sunday, David's Aunt Joanne passed away from a 20 year on again/off again battle with cancer. At her memorial service today, there were several powerful moments. The morning burial at the gravesite with family filled with prayer and reading Bible passages out loud while also being enveloped in the comfort of the warm sunbeams. Walking around the cemetery with Karis and Hope, Joanne's young granddaughters, as they commented on all the pretty flowers they saw. Listening to an amazing live version of "That Old Rugged Cross" sung during the public service. Hearing an uplifting and thought-provoking message from Joanne's son-in-law about her reality of being in a 'better place' ---rejoicing in heaven at the feet of Jesus--- being biblical truth, not just wishful thinking. Spending quality, blessed time with Joanne's family; her husband Wade, her daughters Katie and Barbara, and all the rest of David's extended family. It was a day of mourning a family's loss and a day of hope due to heaven's gain. Two verses to ponder:

"It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart. "
~Ecclesiastes 7:2

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."
~Hebrews 10:23

October-fest

October is a good month for many reasons. It ushers in a new season of cardigans, pumpkin-flavored items, and the celebration of another year of my life. This October is off to quite a nice start. My hubby and I had a glorious breakfast feast last Saturday because it was the one weekend this month that he does not have his MBA classes so we could sleep in and lounge over a morning meal. We made beignets, which are French doughnuts with powdered sugar that they serve in New Orleans. For our first time making them, I was very proud! David also whipped up delicious goat cheese and prosciutto omelets, muy delicioso!

Then last night, I went to see Legally Blonde: The Musical with ten other girls for a ladies night out and it was just as much fun seeing it the second time as when I first saw it in San Francisco three years ago. The show has so much energy that you can't help feeling upbeat when you leave the theater!

This morning, my co-workers and I strolled over to the Good Life Garden, which is a public garden for UCD staff, students, and faculty by the new Mondavi Institute for Wine & Food Science. They had a free "harvest" today which means you can come by and take as much basil, oregano, mint, thyme, and other fresh herbs that you want. Score!

On Friday, I'm headed into SF to catch a concert at the Fillmore with my younger bro and then I get to spend the night with one of my besties Kate and her husband Chris in Walnut Creek. October has definitely been a fab month so far and can only get better in my opinion!

raise a glass

I've been to a few university retirement parties in the last couple months (I guess people realize it's a good time to leave the UC system!) and I always leave each party feeling such a sense of gratitude towards being a part of the Design department. Everyone, both faculty and staff, truly care for one another and there is a presence of genuine community that I know can be rare within an academic department. Tonight's party for Victoria Rivers, Design faculty member for 30 years, was another great celebration. And true to the spirit of the Design program, it was an eclectic mix of memorable moments, including a faculty member asking me if I wanted a tequila shot (I politely declined, I'm not a tequila girl). Then there was Victoria's touching speech about how the success of her career was not due to her own talents but was a collaborative process involving every other faculty and staff member she had worked with over the years she had been at UC Davis. I think this is why I really enjoy retirement parties because it is a special time of recognizing not just how far one has come but the people who have been there along the way. Personally, there's no other group of people I'd want to share the professional part of my life with right now and it does pain me to think of eventually leaving such a grand group of people. One last highlight of the night was eating cake. More specifically, the way the cake was eaten: there weren't any extra plates or forks leftover from dinner, so one of the faculty jumped in and suggested that we serve it on napkins. Instead of being snooty and complaining, everyone went on socializing as normal, while eating off their napkins with their fingers. It doesn't really surprise me Victoria stayed in this department for three decades, it's just a unique place that attracts really warm, down-to-earth people who don't mind getting a little messy while eating some cake.

101 days of summer

The lazy days of summer are over, as of tomorrow. I wanted to particularly relish every moment of this summer, knowing that once grad classes began in the fall, it wouldn't be until Christmas break that I'd have a good amount of free time again.

Here's a numbers breakdown of my summer:

Weddings Attended: 3

Brea and Nathan
Katy and Dale
Heather and Justin

Weddings I Wanted to Go To, But Couldn't: 2

Ashley and Mike
Carol and Joe


Movies Seen in Theatres: 4

Up
Star Trek
500 Days of Summer (yes, I stole my blog post title from this)
Julie & Julia

Movies Rented: 14

I Love You, Man
The Spirit of the Marathon
Taken
Last Chance Harvey
Rachel Getting Married
Road to Perdition
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Evening
Sophie's Choice
Doubt
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Lakeview Terrace
Yes Man
Bolt


Books Read: 10

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult
A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
We Are All Welcome Here by Elizabeth Berg
Two Part Invention by Madeleine L'Engle
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (re-reading it for the first time since 10th grade)
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Musical Theatre Performances Attended: 2

Wicked
The Music Man


Live Music Events Attended: 2

Jimmy Buffett - Concord, CA
Preservation Hall Jazz Band - New Orleans, LA

New States Visited: 6

Vermont
New Hampshire
Connecticut
Rhode Island
Maine
Louisiana

All added together, it equals one fantastic summer!

family matters

Since David is gone until next Wednesday, I've been staying at my parents house the last few nights. I knew that if I was alone in our house for 2 weeks, my mind would run wild with thoughts of scary scenarios and that it would be best for my sanity if I was around other people. Plus, I get free meals that I'm not involved in cooking so it really turns out to be a pretty good deal for me.

Anyhow, my younger brother Steve is also at my parent's house for a few days before he moves to Santa Cruz when his lease starts next week. It's a little strange to revert back to my living situation of when I was in high school---me, my brother, and my parents all under one roof.

One of the things I appreciate about my immediate family is that we all grew up saying what's on our mind, even if it's messy and not fully thought out. We never sweep anything under the rug; if something or someone is bothering us we confront each other and say so and fight it out (most of the time loudly) and get it over with instead of doing the whole passive aggressive thing. And yet, tonight I was reminded that this family trait can also be one of my biggest frustrations.

Tonight's family fight began regarding my brother's flossing habits (or rather his resistance to flossing) and it turned into a much deeper fight about differences in perspectives about money (relating to my parents buying a new car). Voices began to rise and I just wasn't feeling like joining in on what was becoming a heated debate. So I did what I've never done before, I got up and left and took my car and drove around for 20 minutes in silence. I needed to clear my head and think in a separate space instead of add to the emotions of the discussion. I then drove back to my parents house, and came back to the fight winding down into truce mode. I threw in my two cents, saying that I sort of understood both perspectives and felt that both my parents and my brother were somewhat right and somewhat hypocritical. And then they decided to agree to disagree and without a residue of bitterness, it was over. Despite yelling at each other five minutes before, the issue had been resolved to a point where an understanding was reached. Everyone's respect for one another was still in tact. I'm not really sure why this was deserving of a blog post other than the fact that this has helped me to process this event and just process in general the conflict resolution habits of my family, which I realize I'm thankful for in the end, despite the messiness.

Oh, my NOLA

I think it was New Orleans Square in Disneyland that first heightened my interest as a young child in visiting New Orleans. In high school I became a huge fan of both Louis Armstrong and Harry Connick, Jr., both New Orleans natives, and I fell in love with the infectiously whimsical sound of Dixieland jazz. As a teenager, I resolved that at some point in my life I would need to go straight to the source of my musical love and visit New Orleans, the birthplace of jazz.
After Hurricane Katrina, I was overwhelmed by the images I saw on TV that showed a decimated and degraded city that had previously seemed so full of life and good times. The thought of going on a trip to help the city in the rebuilding process crossed my mind a few months after Katrina hit but soon faded as I realized I didn't have enough vacation time saved up to do. Fast forward to May 2009 and the opportunity arose once again. It came in the form of an email from our good friends, Bronwyn and Jarrod, who asked if we were interested in joining a team from their church to go to New Orleans for a week to do various service projects. David and I had already spent a week of vacation time on our trip to New England, and we weren't planning on doing any more trips for the rest of the year. But something tugged at both of us to consider this unique option. For me, it was a chance to put my faith into action and serve those who need help physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I won't say that my motivations were totally selfless though---I also knew this would be a great chance to see a city I had always been intrigued by. So we bought plane tickets and were officially part of the 2009 New Orleans team from First Baptist Church (although we still represented our Covenant denomination pride, haha).
Our time in New Orleans was relatively short but our experiences spanned many emotions and therefore caused the trip to feel much longer than 6 days. For the first 2 days, we volunteered with Habitat for Humanity and got to play with power tools, experienced Gulf Coast humidity in all it's sweaty glory, and painted many, MANY baseboards. During the second day, we volunteered at a site with one of the most humble and inspiring people I've come across---Mr. Paul Branch, who lives in a town near New Orleans. He is one of the Habitat core volunteers in the New Orleans area, which for him means that he volunteers on any days that he is not working at his job as an oilfield consultant. Firstly, Paul had a gracious and generous spirit. An example of this was when he brought in a huge dish of red beans and rice (a New Orleans classic dish), potato chips, and watermelon for us to have for lunch (normally Habitat does not provide lunch for the volunteers). When I asked him how he prepared it, he casually said that he had gotten up at 4 am that morning to make it because it takes several hours to simmer and he wanted our team to have a fresh batch in order to capture the flavor best. And although we didn't have much to compare it to, everyone on our team agreed that it was probably the best red beans and rice we would ever have and told Paul we'd be emailing him for the recipe. In addition to his hospitality, Paul's strong commitment to help others in his community was also quite striking. At one point during the day, someone asked him how many other volunteer teams had come to help him on this house. He modestly said that we were the first team he had worked with in quite some time and that it had taken him 40 days to redo the roof on the house by himself. All of us were shocked to hear that he had been working on a majority of the house alone, but then he said that he's been granted the ability and the means to help those who were hit hardest by Katrina and that it's only natural that he use what he's been blessed with to help those in need around him. "Help other people and you'll be ok," he told us during the lunch break. Throughout the rest of the week I realized what he meant. The reference to being "ok" was not meant in a legalistic way referring to doing good works in order to get spiritual brownie points. He instead was referencing how helping others helps rejuvenate the soul in a way that not many other things can. So this is the simple, yet profound, mantra that Paul lives his life by and I know that after meeting him, I am more motivated to help others in my local community.
Another organization we worked with called Green Light New Orleans was very different in it's mission but just as inspiring. Their goal is to help low-income families switch from using incandescent light bulbs to more energy efficient CFL bulbs. This is carried out by having various volunteers come to their homes and install these bulbs--both the installation and the CFL bulbs are free to the homeowner. In essence, it is helping families save money on utility bills while also making the rebuilding process more eco-friendly way. This was also a great organization to volunteer with because we got to interact one on one with various families and hear their stories of how despite all odds they have come back to rebuild their lives. One woman we met named Nita proudly told us how so many church groups from across the United States had a part in helping her family rebuild their house after a crooked contractor ran off with her money (how despicable do you have to be to do this, especially to someone who has already lost so much?!). She then eagerly got our contact info because she said she liked to stay in touch with every volunteer who had played a role in her life...I felt like we hadn't done much except change a few light bulbs but I realized how every little contribution has combined to make a large impact on her life.
One other place we volunteered was at St. Margaret's, a nursing home in the ninth ward. There were so many special moments during this day, including getting to know Augustine. She is a resident who is unable to go downstairs and play bingo with the other residents due to a bad leg, so the activities coordinator sent a few of us up to her room with a mini bingo set that we could set up and play with her. When we introduced ourselves and asked if she wanted to play some bingo, her eyes lit up and she enthusiastically nodded, "oh yes, oh yes!" Normally, I think bingo is a boring game that I would dread playing for more than two rounds. However, it was so enjoyable to sit with Augustine and play bingo for a couple of hours, listening to some of her childhood stories in between rounds. She told us of growing up in rural Louisiana and how she had worked for a 'nice white man' at his general store. She later ended up being a nanny for a 'nice white woman' and helped to raise her daughter, whom she had a picture of on her windowsill. She told us of different New Orleans recipes we had to try, described how to make crawfish etouffee, and gave us her opinion on why Popeye's makes the best fried chicken (because they use red pepper in the seasoning instead of black pepper, of course). I was sad to say goodbye to Augustine at the end of the day and I wish that I could have weekly visits with her. It was just so refreshing to sit and listen to someone like her with so much life experience give their perspective on things.
Outside of the different volunteer projects, we got to spend time in different parts of the city and I fell in love with its different quirks. Fresh beignets toppled with powdered sugar in the French Quarter at Cafe du Mond. Watching the Preservation Hall Jazz Band bring to life the exuberant spirit of Dixieland jazz. Walking through the Garden District in awe of the mansions that look like embassies but are actually people's homes. Riding the historic St. Charles Streetcar at dusk. New Orleans has such a charming quality that is hard to describe. And it's this quality that causes so many residents to want to come back to the city they love so dearly, despite all the pain it has caused them. As for me, I know that at some point, I will go back as well. And like the people of New Orleans, I have hope that because of the efforts of so many working tirelessly to help rebuild, their city will rise again with it's head held high.


"If you serve, you should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ." ~ 1 Peter 4:11

Our team at the Green Lights New Orleans house

turn around

As I was reminded today, sometimes if you're feeling negatively overwhelmed, it's best to reflect on the things that have brought us joy:


Enjoying the most delicious tuna melt of my life and fries with scrumptious dipping sauces (taken @ Duckfat in Portland, Maine)











A serene space to just stop and relax (taken at House on the Hill in Greenfield, MA)














Friends to laugh with

Celebrating our anniversary at DisneyWorld!

Decorating sugar cookies during Christmas time!

Moving on from here

Four years ago next week will be when I first started my job in the Design Program as a temp. I was a naive college graduate who was certain my time as a UC Davis employee would only be temporary until I found a "real job" elsewhere. Little did I know how much I would enjoy going from UCD student to UCD staff member and woul remain in the same department four years later. While the pay isn't great (pay decreases are actually happening next month due to the state budget), there are certainly other benefits. I get a generous amount of paid holidays, vacation time, and sick time. I have been able to audit many classes that I wasn't able to take during undergrad. I can walk to the Arboretum or view an exhibit or go to a free music performance during my lunch hour. But most of all, I have been in the company of such great co-workers, faculty, and a boss who have become my work family. Sadly, my boss, Andrea, retired on Tuesday and I couldn't help but become emotional thinking about how our department will no longer have her optimistic presence and steadfast leadership on a daily basis. Four years ago, Andrea took me under her wing, probably because I was so relatively young, and in these years she has become a mentor. Cheesy as it sounds, she really did encourage me to believe in my true career potential. I attribute my current position as an undergrad adviser to her since she was the first person to ask me 2 years ago if that was a field I would be interested in and then urged me to jump at the opportunity. And since working as an adviser led me to realize my ultimate career goal, which led me to apply for the master's program in counseling that I will begin in the fall, I can also attribute my pursuit of my graduate education partly to Andrea as well. On a personal level, Andrea was very compassionate and truly wanted to know how all her employees were doing emotionally. She was always willing to take the time to listen to any struggles or triumphs I was going through--whether it was health issues with my mom or talking about a wedding I had just gone to. It will be hard to compare any future bosses to Andrea since I really think she is irreplaceable and embodies the qualities that a good manager should have. I'm so thankful for the mentoring role she has played in my work life these last several years, which I know will impact me as I move forward in whatever path I pursue in the present and the future.

the clarity of gratitude

Lately, I have had an attitude of pessimism, which has been particularly directed towards my current work situation that involves my awesome supervisor retiring June 30 and a whole lot of uncertainty involving a department reorganization beginning July 1st. For me, it took a slight health scare this morning to remind me of the importance of having a perspective of gratitude in my life instead.

I was awakened at 5 am by a pressure in my chest. I got up and drank some water, hoping that would be an easy fix but the pain persisted. David left for work around 5:30 am and coaxed me into trying to go back to sleep, assuring me I was probably just experiencing some heartburn (which I have never had before). I tossed and turned and finally got back to sleep until 8:30 am. I got up and started getting ready to go to church. It still felt like someone was pushing on my chest but I tried to ignore it. However, I was also starting to feel pain in both of my shoulder joints as well as in my jaw. I then decided I needed to play it safe and go see someone in urgent care at the hospital, just in case I was one of those rare cases of a 25 year old having a heart attack (I know, I know maybe watching "Grey's Anatomy" has made me paranoid). As I'm driving there, I call David on my cell to let him know I've decided to go to the hospital. However, I have forgotten my BlueTooth at home and right on cue, a Davis cop comes out of nowhere and proceeds to flash his lights. I'm being pulled over for not using a 'hands-free device'. Of course, my chest pain worsens. I've never played the "crying girl" card when I have been pulled over before, but I play it this time as I shakily explain to him that I was calling my husband about going to the hospital for my chest pain. The policeman's harsh stare morphs into a concerned look and he suggests that he follows me to there to make sure I arrive safely.

So now I have a police escort to accompany me to the hospital. Actually, he escorts me INTO the hospital as well and now I'm totally embarrassed as everyone in the waiting room stares at me walking in with a police officer as my usher. I then awkwardly explain to the receptionist what is going on and then the officer wishes me well and leaves....finally. Although I know he really was concerned about my safety, I have a suspicion that he also wanted to make sure I wasn't lying to get out of a ticket since I'm sure he's heard some over-the-top excuses before.

Ironically, there did not seem to be a sense of urgency in urgent care, and my whole appointment took about 2 hours to complete after all the waiting and tests. I had an EKG done, as well as an oxygen test, and both came up clear. My blood pressure and heart rate were fine as well. All of this eased my mind but I was still concerned what the root cause was of my chest pain. The nurse practitioner who saw me had asked me if I had been experiencing stress lately and the answer was yes, my work situation was causing me to feel stressed out. She said that although it seems odd for these symptoms to have seemingly come out of the blue, stress can mainfest itself in odd ways and was most likely the culprit for my jaw pain, shoulder pain, and tightness in my chest. My treatment plan was to get some rest and take it easy and I was sent on my way.

For the rest of the day, I said simple prayers of thanks. Thanks that I have good insurance to even go to urgent care. Thanks that I have easy access to a hospital and don't have to walk for days to get medical help like so many people across the world do. Thanks for parents who left church early to come to the hospital waiting room after I text messaged them. Thanks for medications like Excederin, which quickly took away my chest pain after 30 minutes. Thanks for being able to meet up with a friend and spend an afternoon at Starbucks after a scary morning. Thanks for the comforting hugs my husband gives. Thanks for ending the day with some frozen yogurt. And thanks for being able to rest in my Creator's love and cling to His peace. As a new week begins, I pray I can breathe in gratitude and exhale worried thoughts; it's better for both my health and my soul. =)

silver lining

Yesterday I was at a commencement orientation for UC Davis staff who were volunteering to help out this weekend during the different commencement ceremonies occurring on campus. During this orientation, the different student speakers for each ceremony do a run-through of their speech in order to practice in front of a live audience. Each of the speeches all seemed to have a common theme this year: graduating into an uncertain world that includes high unemployment rates. However, one of the student speakers said something that really stood out to me:

"Because everyone understands that finding a job directly out of college will be very difficult in these uncertain times, our graduating class has basically been given a free pass to instead explore opportunities that don't include the 9-5 entry level desk jobs. Instead of worrying about how hard life will be once we graduate, we should instead be celebrating this freedom we've been given that comes from not having certain expectations placed on us. Now's the time to pursue what we are passionate about because there's nothing else to lose!"

I thought this was an insightful and even inspiring twist on what it means to 'make the best of one's circumstances'. In a letter to the Thessalonians, Paul shares similar sentiments by reminding them to keep the faith and be thankful no matter what obstacles life throws at them because this is God's will for us (1 Thess. 5:16-18). I think Paul isn't saying to be thankful when crappy things happen to you, but rather be thankful of what can be learned through these situations--- things like patience and forgiveness. Or be thankful for how you can be used in these situations. Or even later down the road, be thankful by how you were molded to be the person you are now by these situations. Instead of focusing and dwelling on the sometimes depressing aspects of our circumstances, I need to instead respond by thinking about what God wants to teach us and how God wants to shape us and use us during these difficult times. As the saying goes, "Don't lose hope. When it gets darkest, the stars come out."

celebration

In the last week I celebrated many things.

I celebrated my brother becoming a college alumni.

I celebrated the marriage of Brea and Nathan as they embark on a new life together .

I celebrated the joys of friendship with Bronwyn, Aubrey, and Kassey who also flew to Boston to share in the joy of Brea's wedding.

I celebrated having a job in which I have a good amount of vacation time to travel and explore the world with my husband.

I celebrated a slower pace of life in a quiet bed and breakfast in Western Massachusetts.

I celebrated the decision to seize the opportunity for a new adventure in July.

More to come.

changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes

Me and my pops at the show

I am fortunate to have a dad who has good taste in music (well...mostly) and who raised me to have a deep appreciation for music as well. Among other artists (The Beatles, Paul Simon, Steve Miller Band, The Temptations, etc.), Jimmy Buffett albums were on heavy rotation at our house growing up. Instead of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm", songs like "Margaritaville" and "Cheeseburger in Paradise" were my childhood nursey songs instead. So when I saw that Jimmy Buffett was coming to the Bay Area for a concert, I immediately called up my dad and said, let's go! He has seen Jimmy perform many many times when we lived in Colorado but surprisingly had never seen him here in California. And since I became a Jimmy fan because of my dad, I figured it would only be fitting to go to my first Buffett concert with him. So we got some tickets off Craigslist and put May 19th on the calendar.

Last night was the show and it was the only concert at a large venue I've been to where pretty much everyone was standing up and dancing throughout the show. I knew that Jimmy Buffett fans (aka Parrotheads) can be pretty hardcore, dressing up in full Hawaiian luau garb and it was entertaining to see the variety of grass skirts and coconut bras (many of which were worn by men). The atmopshere at the concert was lighthearted and playful, largely due to all the margaritas being consumed, but also because Jimmy Buffett songs can transport you to a tropical island mindset where there is not a care in the world. There was only one new song that brought the crowd back to reality called "A Lot to Drink About" (alluding to bailouts and global wars), but even this song had an upbeat twang to it.

All in all, it was a fun evening and I am glad I've finally seen Jimmy Buffett live!

Grass skirts and Hawaiian shirts galore

Parrotheads know how to party

My dad on his second grossly overpriced margarita

Mixing work and pleasure: Part 2

Friday night's dinner plans with Ashley and Mark begins with Ash making reservations at an Italian restaurant in Irvine called "Z Mario" that she said had moved locations but was an amazing Italian place. Ashley's friends, Tawny and Jeremy, join us there and as we walk in I notice two things: the decor of the restaurant is very minimalist and modern (doesn't feel like any Italian restaurant I've ever been in) and the restaurant is completely empty. COMPLETELY. The hostess leads us back to our table in the back of the restaurant and we walk by a dance floor and a bar...hmmmm. When she gives us the menus, everything is over $30 an entree, and there is nothing remotely Italian offered. It turns out that the owners of what used to be "Z Mario" decided to turn their cozy Italian restaurant into a trendy lounge/uber expensive place to eat. We quickly decided to pick up and leave and find an actual Italian restaurant and ended up at Villa Nova in Newport Beach. Apparently, this is the spot where Joe DiMaggio took Marilyn Monroe on a blind date, pretty cool stuff. I ordered the manicotti and it was delish!


After dinner, Ash and I talked the night away and made a late-night run to YogurtLand. Again, I found that SoCal has a myriad of awesome frozen yogurt places and if I lived there, I would make a point to visit a new one each week! The next morning, Ash displayed her domestic skills and made a hearty oatmeal and scrambled eggs breakfast before we headed out to do some serious shopping. Actually, I did some serious shopping and Ash was my lackey, helping me find cute summer work outfits and making sure I did NOT buy more tank tops. I scouted out some great deals at Old Navy (50% off stuff already on clearance!), H&M, and Forever 21 and ended up with 5 cute tops and one classy skirt for $60.00.
We then drove up to Westwood, where I was going to meet up with Rachel. We stopped at Diddy Riese, a classic dessert place near UCLA that offers their famous ice-cream sandwiches for $1.50. You get to choose two fresh baked cookies and your flavor of ice cream and the result is a sweet tooth's dream!


The rest of my weekend getaway was spent with Rach in Santa Monica. The last time I had been in Santa Monica was for a college spring break trip with ADX when we stayed in a motel where homeless men were using the windows as mirrors to shave. Let's just say staying in Rach's apartment was quite a step up from that. We took a coastal drive to the Malibu area and gawked at the ridiculously huge mansions that people live in. For dinner that night we went to the Third Street Promenade and ended up at Barney's Beanery. This place has the most extensive menu I've probably ever seen....they have everything from chili bread bowls to fajita plates to burgers to pasta dishes to meatloaf. And for those that love their potatoes, they have 25 different kinds of potato skin options. Needless to say, it took quite a while to decide what to order. After dinner and strolling around the Promenade, we went back to Rach's place and ended up watching "Little Women" (what girl doesn't love Christian Bale as Laurie?) on her laptop in her comfy bed before dozing to sleep.
It was so refreshing to sleep in until 11 the next morning, it's a foreign feeling to wake up feeling well-rested! Rach then suggested a brunch destination that she had tried before, called Jack and Jill's. A restaurant that has a name derived from a nursery rhyme is enough to catch my interest so off we went. Another delicious dining experience. What I liked the most was that you get the option of these mini-blueberry cakes with your meal and they were so good! After stuffing myself yet again, it was time to head back to Sac. I am so grateful I was able to visit with so many close friends during this work trip...many thanks to UCD and taxpayer money =)