Heartbroken for Haiti

It's been a tender-hearted kind of week for me. I cried at church on Sunday. There are horrible things that happen every day, but the situation in Haiti has been too big of a crisis to ignore, yet also too much to comprehend as well. The last natural disaster crisis to invoke so much emotion within me was Katrina. And after having spent a week in New Orleans last summer and seeing the devastation that still is a reality four years after the hurricane, I am overwhelmed with despair at how Haiti, the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere, will come back from this. I read "Mountains Beyond Mountains" (highly recommended) last year and this gave me the first glimpse of the history influencing the many factors behind why Haiti is a chaotic nation in many regards-- a destitute economy, lacking basic infrastructure, many people not having access to basic health care and education, and a notoriously corrupt political system. And this was the state of things in Haiti BEFORE the earthquake hit. I've heard some say that maybe the earthquake will be the catalyst needed to rebuild Haiti in a way that creates opportunity for a more stable government and economy. Others remark that a positive effect of this horrible tragedy could be to shed light and raise awareness of the extreme poverty that existed on this island. In a sense, I agree that we cannot remain ignorant of how it was actually the poverty in Haiti, not the earthquake itself, that caused so many of the deaths. I read an article comparing the San Francisco earthquake of 1989 to the Haiti earthquake--both quakes had similar magnitude and affected around the same number of people. However, 67 people died in the SF quake and the death count in Haiti is surpassing 200,000. THAT is the real tragedy--the unjust gap that exists between "developed" and "third-world" countries in terms of infrastructure, etc. Why does this gap exist? That's a much deeper question but it's a good one to ponder.

Another question that came to my mind multiple times this week was "how can people just go about their normal lives after they watch the news and see what's going on in Haiti?!" I see people at the gym reading the latest celebrity trash tabloid magazines while CNN broadcasts another heartbreaking story about Haiti in the background. I have bitter thoughts towards these people---"how can you be so insensitive to the suffering occurring?"And then I found myself doing the same thing as everyone else, trying to set aside all the horrific images of dead bodies, despondent mothers who have lost all their children, and crumbled buildings in order to continue with the regular activities of my day. I am torn between feeling terribly guilty and feeling that I can't dwell in what is happening thousands of miles away.

Right now, I know I can contribute financially to the relief effort and find some hope in praying for Haiti. But I must admit, right now it's hard to shake a feeling of despair. God, help show me that You are bigger than the despair that is enveloping so many in this tragedy.