family matters

Since David is gone until next Wednesday, I've been staying at my parents house the last few nights. I knew that if I was alone in our house for 2 weeks, my mind would run wild with thoughts of scary scenarios and that it would be best for my sanity if I was around other people. Plus, I get free meals that I'm not involved in cooking so it really turns out to be a pretty good deal for me.

Anyhow, my younger brother Steve is also at my parent's house for a few days before he moves to Santa Cruz when his lease starts next week. It's a little strange to revert back to my living situation of when I was in high school---me, my brother, and my parents all under one roof.

One of the things I appreciate about my immediate family is that we all grew up saying what's on our mind, even if it's messy and not fully thought out. We never sweep anything under the rug; if something or someone is bothering us we confront each other and say so and fight it out (most of the time loudly) and get it over with instead of doing the whole passive aggressive thing. And yet, tonight I was reminded that this family trait can also be one of my biggest frustrations.

Tonight's family fight began regarding my brother's flossing habits (or rather his resistance to flossing) and it turned into a much deeper fight about differences in perspectives about money (relating to my parents buying a new car). Voices began to rise and I just wasn't feeling like joining in on what was becoming a heated debate. So I did what I've never done before, I got up and left and took my car and drove around for 20 minutes in silence. I needed to clear my head and think in a separate space instead of add to the emotions of the discussion. I then drove back to my parents house, and came back to the fight winding down into truce mode. I threw in my two cents, saying that I sort of understood both perspectives and felt that both my parents and my brother were somewhat right and somewhat hypocritical. And then they decided to agree to disagree and without a residue of bitterness, it was over. Despite yelling at each other five minutes before, the issue had been resolved to a point where an understanding was reached. Everyone's respect for one another was still in tact. I'm not really sure why this was deserving of a blog post other than the fact that this has helped me to process this event and just process in general the conflict resolution habits of my family, which I realize I'm thankful for in the end, despite the messiness.